When you work together as a couple there is going to be passion and devotion. Stuff will matter. Emotions will run high. But the journey can be incredible.
Here are a few good rules for managing the journey…
- Don’t fight it…
You will both likely love what you do as much as each other and you are likely going to be so excited by what you do that there is no way on this earth that you can ever stop talking about it and making it better. In which case, why fight it? Don’t try to separate it, because it will only cause frustration. For example, last night I went out with my dad and came home at around 10pm. Jo had been researching for a new project and was full of ideas when I came in, so I listened.
- Work Hard
Sometimes you’ll have tough days. Who doesn’t? A setback, a challenge, a disagreement… it happens. Your work matters. Because of that passions will flare. Things won’t always go right. Just take responsibility, deal with it and don’t let it fester. Be there for each other as you would a work colleague you fancy!
- Play Hard
Have something that gets you out of your routine occasionally and make a habit of it. Even if you had a tough day – in fact, especially if you had a tough day – do it. Jo and I enjoy ballroom dancing, so we make a weekly habit of that. It makes us work together in a different way that is for fun. We’ve learnt a lot about our relationship through dance – masculine and feminine energy as well as leading and following and giving space.
- Have a Date Night
We love going out as a couple for a drink and dinner or a weekend away. We treat it like we are dating. Of course we talk about work a bit, but it tends to come up in a more natural way, as part of the continuum of work and life together. We came out of a comedy store in Leicester Square last year and were jumping on the tube when we started talking about work.
- Make Plans
You have to work out roles. Jo does tech, Neil does marketing. Neil does big picture thinking, Jo asks the questions that make it work. Jo cooks, Neil chooses entertainment. Every week has 30 minutes in an evening where we plan the next week and look at the month ahead. Who will we have around for dinner? What’s happening at the weekend? What bit of detail do we need to think about for the next trip? What’s happening with the family? If we are organised we all have our role or responsibility to take care of. We then know what’s expected!
- Careful With The Anchors You Create
Living and working together means you are living in close quarters and it’s very easy for something that happens in the office to run on into the living room, kitchen or bedroom. If every time your wife or husband sees you they build up an anchor to what you mean to them, so it’s important that you make them laugh or bring them gifts of drinks and snacks and a little shoulder massage or an offer of help when they are under pressure. It certainly fills the emotional bank account for days that are tough. Plus always remember to add a loving comment in your emails… but careful what you say, just in case you send it to the wrong person!
- Don’t Guess
Never second-guess what the other person wants; it’s a recipe for disaster. Never be forced into the position where you have to play games to get your needs met. Ask outright for what you need and ask your partner to do the same. It saves so much time and energy
What would your tip be? Leave a comment below…